Some days I reach for words and they’re just…not there. That’s it, I think, no writing today.
But generally, that’s just a lie I tell myself in an effort to feel better.
What I really mean by there are no words is that I do not have it in me to deliver words the way that I think they should be delivered. That there’s something I want to say that I cannot render adequately. There is something I want to say that is at odds with what I’m trying to say.
Often, it is because I am scared of a scene, of a sequence, of a sentence.
And that’s cool. When that happens, I don’t need to write a sentence. I can start with a word. Just one goddamn word. And, most days, if I’m willing to risk that much, everything else follows along.
Not perfect, and not in the way I was thinking in the beginning, but there are words.
There are always words, when I look for them.
I really should stop using fear as an excuse to avoid deploying words.
“That there’s something I want to say that I cannot render adequately. There is something I want to say that is at odds with what I’m trying to say.”
^^^^^ This. Never thought of some of the ones that keep stalling (for what feels like infinity) from this angle but had a ba-doink moment reading this (while avoiding uni…’cause, over it lol)
Fear is the little death. I need to also get to this pushing through rather than pushing away. Thank you for sharing your thoughts it’s helpful to know how you work through these things.