It’s My Birthday. Have A New Short Story…

Today’s my forty-sixth birthday, so I’m kicking off today’s post with the traditional unflattering birthday selfie. I gather these have long been robbed of their power to horrify my mother, but I kinda dig having an ongoing archive of my rarely-photographed face to reflect on as the years go by.

This year, my birthday falls on a Saturday, which is also when I post an original story to the Eclectic Projects Patreon every week. I honestly thought this week would be the first time in thirty-eight weeks I skipped a day because I didn’t have a story done—the week before my birthday is always rough for me, and rougher still now the 19th of March is the anniversary of my father’s death—but the weekly short story project has changed my relationship with writing.

First, because I don’t actually want to skip a week after thirty-eight weeks of showing up without fail. Second, because writing a story a week will change your relationship with your writing, and I’m increasingly confident of my ability to produce a short story in a day when the situation requires.

With twenty-four hours to go, I started a brand-new story — THE BIRTHDAY PARTY — and it’s now live over on Patreon. Because it’s my birthday, I’ve made it free to read instead of patron-only, so you can check it out in real time instead of waiting. It’s a slice of pulpy, Twlight Zone-esque sci-fi horror about social media and spectacle.

If you want to give me a birthday gift, give the story a read and maybe send the link to someone who may enjoy it.

Let There Be Gaimans (9 Mar 2023 Status Post)

OUT IN THE WORLD

I recently guested on the Pratchat podcast hosted by Ben McKenzie and Elizbath Flux, talking about Terry Pratchett’s non-fiction collection A Slip Of The Keyboard and the writing advice within. You can find the episode online now, or at any of the mysterious services that bring podcasts to your phone. Here’s the episode pitch:

Liz and Ben are joined by writer and publisher Peter M Ball for Pratchat’s first foray into Pratchett’s nonfiction! We discuss fandom, genre, Sharknado, figgins and even fit in six pieces from “A Scribbling Intruder”, the first section of Pratchett’s 2014 nonfiction anthology A Slip of the Keyboard.

Pratchett writes about the letters he receives from various kinds of fans as a popular genre author in “Kevins” (1993), before revisiting the same topic in the email age and explaining why he quit his own newsgroup in “Wyrd Ideas” (1999), both for The Author magazine. Then its time to discuss fantasy as a genre – both advice for writing it in “Notes From a Successful Fantasy Author: Keep It Real” for the 2007 edition of The Writers and Artists Notebook, and reasons why children should be reading it in “Let There Be Dragons”, a speech given at the Booksellers Association Annual Conference in 1993. Finally, best mates Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman tell us how they feel about each other, Terry in “Neil Gaiman: Amazing Master Conjuror” for the Boskone 39 convention booklet (2002), and Neil in his Foreword for A Slip of the Keyboard (2014).

As we’ve discussed before, Pratchett was never one to let a good idea only be used once – and you may have heard him talk to some of the themes in these pieces when being interviewed. Short stories may have cost him blood, as he used to say, but he never lost his journalistic mojo for writing fact and opinion – or replying to reader mail!

It’s been years since I got to go out and talk about stuff as a writer, rather than a publisher or an even organiser, and I had an extraordinary amount of fun nattering out about Pratchett (and more).

ON THE DOCKET

As predicted, I’ve spent the bulk of the last forty-eight hours shipping orders for Gorgons Deserve Nice Things (and other Brain Jar Press books—this seems to be the release where everyone caught up on releases they missed). We also announced the last book in Meg Vann’s InSecurity Triptych, Crawlspace, which will come out in May.

Brain Jar store got hit by another round of fraudulent orders yesterday. Once again, none of them are being processed as actual orders, but there’s the whole time-consuming process of clearing out the back end and dealing with the our payment processor to see if we can stop things from happening. There’s a chance it may involve investing in new and not-entirely-cheap services, which is probably the point where I need to rethink the current set-up.

Going a bit bonkers because our printer apparently shipped a recent order of books back on the 23rd of Feb, but the tracking is showing one of those codes that could mean “we forgot to process this properly, and the books are nearly there” and could mean “we’ve left this sitting on the dock, waiting for pick-up, for the better part of two weeks.” One of these is a frustrating annoyance, the other is a catastrophic problem that I should be fixing now, so not knowing which is in play is frustrating.

There’s also a mentee meeting this afternoon and I still need to finish a story for this week’s Patreon entry, plus I’ve almost got the March issue whipped into shape and ready to send to the printer (although, given the above, I really need to be expanding my lead time on these).

“Become a publisher,” they said. “It’ll be fun.” (And it is, mostly, but some days it’s all just a bit much to manage).

PETER M. BALL INBOX: 29

BRAIN JAR INBOX: 22

BRAIN JAR SUBMISSION QUEUE: 4

Saturday Morning Stories

Six months ago, I started posting a weekly short story to my Patreon account instead of throwing works in progress up there in a haphazard matter. Dubbed the Saturday Morning Story—a little something for folks to read over their morning coffee on the weekend—I figured it would have a shelf-life of a couple of weeks before I faltered and ran out of drafts.

Twenty-six weeks later, I’m still going. The story for week twenty-seven is on my list of things to redraft over the next few days, and at this point, I’m determined to make a full year.

Mostly, these stories go up as advanced drafts—they’re ultimately the stories that find their way into the Eclectic Projects magazine six months later, and there’s often a redraft and copyedit that takes place as part of that. Sometimes, those rewrites can be extensive—one of my early proto-posts, before I went weekly, went from an 800 vignette to a 4,000 word short story because I needed something very different to balance out the magazine issue (Patreon subscribers also get the magazine issues, if they’re curious to see the changes).

Here’s a quick rundown of what I’ve produced as part of this project:

  • Sweltering Fruit (Horror): Two travellers kept in quarantine realise the night manager and his minions are feeding on the sick.
  • Box Brownie Blues (Fantasy): A portrait photographer with a gift for taking snapshots of the subject’s soul is approached by the son of a recently-deceased former client.
  • The Shackleton Job parts 1 – 6 (Pulp): A monthly serial in which a thief is tasked with recovering some very important bottles of scotch, lest they trigger the end of the world.
  • Four Mohocks, Sent Abroad (Fantasy): Four members of a notorious historical gang are sent to faerie when it’s clear London’s too hot for them to stay.
  • On The Corner of Caxton and Petrie, 12:04 AM (SF): An agent from the time travel authority just wants to enjoy his night off, but then Vikings invade one of Brisbane’s popular nightspots.
  • Captain Moo-Vell Takes The Mic (SF): How do you revitalise an ailing pub? Heavy Metal kareoke with cows!
  • The Fighter (SF): A boxer who takes on robot opponents ponders when you cross the line from woman to machine.
  • Warm Milk and Whisky (SF): A detected teamed with a mad scientist infant son and his crime fighting cybercreche is put in a bad spot.
  • The Chap Who Wanted To Be Commander Flag (SF): Comic book fandom and a dedication to superhero cosplay takes on a whole new meaning after aliens invade.
  • This Is How You Step Up – A Dust Runner’s Tale (SF): Two couriers take on an ill-fated deliver across the dust-choked, gang-infested landscape of the time-travelling cyber-dinosaur apocalypse.
  • One Last Job, And Then Sleep (Weird Western): A Pinkerton agent delivering to a mad scientists manse realises this job isn’t going smooth…
  • The Bridesmaids (Horror): The world changes forever once random women transform into bloody, alien-fighting alternate egos whenever they’re at weddings.
  • Our Survival, And Other Mysteries (Slipstream): The first in an ongoing series of stories that ponder what Raymond Carver’s sparse realism would look like if he lived in a zombie apocalypse.
  • Median Survival Time – an Eleanor Holst short story (SF): Science fiction neo-noir with two enforcers for a crime syndicate on a remote colony.
  • Life in the Shadow (SF): What happens when the aliens arrive in their giant space ships, park in front of the city, and just…wait?
  • Six Cats Go Camping (Fantasy): Six cats gather around a campfire. One of them tells a ghost story.
  • The Bridge Troll’s Upstairs Neighbours (Fantasy): High-density living is hard for Bridge Trolls and their highly acute hearing, but when one moves in below the worst neighbours in the world, things go from hard to catastrophic in very little time.
  • Lemosyne Junction (Fantasy): A rock-and-roll star fills with regrets pays to visit the one place where the memory-sapping waters of the Lomosyne touch the mortal plane.
  • A Good Thief’s Choices (Fantasy): Malachi’s tasked with stealing the Horrormancer’s pearl, but even the best theif in the world might have second thoughts when faced with it’s arcane defenses.
  • The Termagent’s Villanelle (Fantasy): Whoever assembles all the verses of this lost villanelle can bring a new god into the world. Langston needs to make sure Fenwick doesn’t get there first.
  • The Fucking-Shitfull-Goddamned-Asshole-Noodlecocked-Motherfucker Has To Die (Fantasy): An evil sorcerer killed Gail’s sorcerous employers and the mundanes who worked alongside he, and she’s got a plan for taking revenge…
  • Infection Vectors – A Helix City Story (SF): Two corporate operatives in Downside are in for a really bad night as they track a genetic mutation through the region’s gangs.
  • In Season (Slipstream): Every year, the extremely rich gather to hunt unicorns and employ human “hounds” to cut off the horns. Abbie thinks she can handle the job, but this year might be the one where she snaps…
  • Breech (Horror): Deacon inlists his partner’s help to cut an otherworldly invader out of his own flesh.

That’s twenty-nine stories or serial entries all-up posted through 2022, plus another horror story—On Meeting An Ex-Girlfriend For Drinks At the Cafe Trio—which appears in the first issue of Eclectic Projects that patrons got early access too. Coming up over the next few months I’ve got a novelette about giant robot races on an ice planet, two new stories in my Raymond Carver Writes During the Zombie Apocalypse remix series, and a few other surprises.

There’s currently two ways to get access to these stories. First, you can pick up the issues of Eclectic Projects as they come out throughout 2022—each issue features at least four stories, one serial entry, and one essay drawn from the Patreon drafts and polishes them into their ultimate form.

Alternatively, you can get access to all those stories, every new story as it’s written, and new issues of the magazine as they’re finalised by choosing one of the subscription tiers over on Patreon.