What I did on my weekend…

Two Scenes of Feline Idiocy

PETERMBALL Journal

Part the first

The Cat: Feed Me!
Peter: There’s food in your bowl.
The Cat: FEED ME!
Peter: There’s food in your bowl. I just put it there.
The Cat: FEED MEEEEEEE!
Peter: For fucks sake.
Peter picks up the cat, puts it next to the bowl.
The Cat: FEEEEED M–
The Cat notices the presence of food.
The Cat: Oh, right.
Peter: You’re an idiot, you know that?
The Cat, speaking with its mouth full: FEED ME!
Peter: …
Peter: Ten days to go.

Part the Two

Peter hears a comotion outside and goes to look. Finds The Cat engaged in deadly war with a dragonfly.
The Cat: Is deadly beast! I save you!
Peter: Whatever floats your boat, cat, just don’t bring it in and eat it on my feet.
The Cat: Die! Die! Die!
The Cat whacks the dragonfly with its paw over and over. The dragonfly waits this out and flies towards the fence.
The Cat: Noooooo.
The Cat chases the dragonfly. Peter shakes his head.
Peter: This will not end well.
The Cat runs headfirst into the fenceline. The Dragonfly flees accross the road, laughing to itself.
The Cat: What? Who put that there?
Peter shakes his head.
Peter: Cat, please be aware that I do not like you enough to have you bleed in my car should you need to go to the vet..
_____________________________________________________

Current Writing Metrics
Consecutive Days Writing (500+ words): 2
New Short Stories Sent Into the Wild: 9/30
Rejections in 2010: 12/100
Black Candy Word Count (Finish Date: 31st August)
 

Travel and Taxes

PETERMBALL Journal

Right now my parents are on their way to Turkey. Or they’ve already arrived in Turkey. Being unfamiliar with the vagaries of international travel and timezones, I largely just process such things in terms of “in the country” and “out of the country” and yesterday the parental unites transferred from one of these states to the other.

I, on the other hand, am having one of those days when I’m dissatisfied with everything. I suspect it may have something to do with starting my taxes yesterday. There’s nothing quite so sobering as looking at your yearly income and thinking “well, that explains why I’m so angry these days.”

I call him Fritz for a reason

PETERMBALL Journal , ,

Today I wish to blog about oh-so-many things, but my brain is tired and poor Fritz the laptop isn’t handling the internets well at the moment, for he is updating Windows right now and the internet in the house-sitting house is capped at slow speeds, and poor Fritz is weak in the RAM and lumped with the worlds worst operating system to boot. Were I smart I’d go work with pen and paper for a while, but being in possession of a penlike object could prove fatal for The Cat* when he attempts to jump on me.

And so I dance to David Bowie, and I update the blog, and I remind Fritz that I still love him for all his deficiencies because he has given me that most priceless of gifts: the ability to write on the couch, and in bed, and in other people’s houses where the computers are new and scary and save word files in odd formats that never open when I get home.

And Fritz is okay with that, as long as I protect him from the Cat. And together we sing the chorus to Life on Mars? while I brainstorm story ideas. 

*who I am now convinced is part rodent, for he has raided the garbage and thrown the contents across the kitchen. And he chews everything, including Fritz the Laptop and the power cord of every electronic device in the house. He seems shocked when I object to all this.