“Unicorns? Unicorns? Tra-la-la?”

This phrase has been running through my head for two days now, often borrowing David Bowie’s voice and intonation from a bit in Labyrinth where he says something very similar. It just sits there, repeated over and over, refusing to go away. This doesn’t become dangerous until I start listening to Suffragette City and pondering what happens when I mash Unicorns and the Goblin King Jared and space stations named after David Bowie songs together. It may be congealing into a story.

I thought I was done with unicorns. Alas, I am not that lucky. People are going to start thinking that me and unicorns have a thing (I swear to god we’re just good friends).

Wait, ‘scuse me a sec, I have to go chase a chicken out of the kitchen.

Peter disappears to chase a chicken away from the cat food. Chicken leaves kitchen with cries of Attica! Attica! The chickens really do get a raw deal, what with The Cat hunting them for food and my continued scrambling of their unfertilized embryos as a source of sustenance.

Right, where was I? Oh, yes, unicorns and David Bowie.

If you need me, I’ll be over in the corner with Fritz the laptop, fighting off The Cat as we try to figure out a way to make this work.

Some *Really* blatant blatant self promotion

horn_coverData Point the First: There’s about seven days left of Twelfth Planet Press’s Silly Season Stocking Stuffer Sale, whereby Australians can pick up a copy of my novella Horn with free shipping (and everyone else in the world gets a massively discounted postage). Given Horn’s cover price of $10, that’s a pretty sweet deal.

Data Point the Second: As of about six minutes ago, there were only 9 copies of Horn left in Twelfth Planet’s inventory.

Data Point the Third: The free shipping on Horn is a total “while stocks last” kind of deal (and there are plenty of other awesome books included in the sale.

Now I’m not mentioning this to suggest you should go buy a copy of the book right away. Nope, not at all. This is the silly season after all, and folks are generally watching their budgets in order to ensure maximum goodwill and festive cheer for those they love.

I’m not even saying “get it now or forever lose the chance,” since it sounds like we’ll be doing a reprint at some point in the future.

I’m certainly not say that Horn does make a kinda neat Stocking Stuffer for those friends who might be inclined to like a story about unicorns written specifically for people who hate unicorns. ‘Cause some people just don’t dig unicorn squick, and I’m okay with that.

What I might be saying – just maybe – that it’d be pretty damn neat for yours truly if those last nine copies went to a good home between now and Christmas.

‘Cause there’s not many things you can say to those extended family members you see twice a year when they ask “how’s the writing going” that actually sounds impressive, particularly when you write more short stories than anything else. But maybe, I don’t know, just maybe, “the book sold out a few days ago” will do the trick 🙂

Horn Review at Coolshite

Another review of Horn is live, this time courtesy Coolshite.net and the mildly notorious Dirk Flinthart. This excerpt, incidentally, may be my favourite thing anyone is ever going to say about my writing, ever:

Peter M. Ball has got it right. This book is smart, funny, nasty, and wicked as hell. He gets the noir-ish tone spot on, delivers with action a-plenty, kick-ass characters, intelligent plotting, and good, clean evocative writing. Best of all, he takes a turgidly overused fantasy trope out behind the backyard toilet and puts a dum-dum bullet through its brain, after which he whips out his tackle and pisses all over the steaming corpse.