Where to Find Me in Melbourne This Coming Weekend

So on Wednesday morning I’m going to be running away to Melbourne for a week. It’s nothing personal against Brisbane – I quite like the place, really – but Melbourne has this habit of kidnapping many of my favourite people in the world and forcing them to, like, live there in the land of good coffee and weather that occasionally acknowledges there are four seasons rather than switching from “hot” to “cold” at some randomly appointed times in the middle of Autumn and Spring. Since a couple of those people are crazy enough to say things like “come stay with us, any time,” I’m taking them at their word and spending a few days inhabiting their spare room.

And then, on Friday, I’ll be heading off to Continuum for a weekend of writer-nerdery and beer.

All of which is really just a set-up for the obligatory “these are the panels I’ll be on at Continuum” post, in case there’s anyone reading this who is interested.

And so, in approximate order:

I Don’t Get It! (Friday 21:00; Venue: Pelham Room): There are certain works of science fiction, fantasy, and horror that all of fandom seems to love…except me. What are these so-called classics? Why don’t I share the love? Is it possible that a lot of people like these things just because they know a lot of people like these things? Who’s missing the point, here – everyone else, or me? Participants: Peter M. BallDeborah BiancottiIan NicholsPatrick O’DuffyAlan Stewart

The Big Bad – Fairy Tale Villains (Saturday 11:00; Venue: Pelham Room): Without them there wouldn’t be any fairytales, and some still haunt us into adulthood. Why do they endure and how do you keep them fresh, relevant and scary? Participants: Peter M. BallNalini HaynesMargo LanaganAngela Slatter

We Want Your Brainz (Sunday 11:00; Venue: Pelam Room): Zombies have taken over in the last 5 years or so and have gone mainstream, but their lore is still being written. How have they changed since the 1970s and what does the explosion of them now say about our present psyche? Could it be a pandemic as recent writers have postulated? And will they ever become sparkly? Participants: Peter M. BallStephen DedmanFelicity DowkerKelly LinkDavid McDonald

Revenge of the Nerds: Fandom in TV and Film (Sunday 15:00; Venue: Lincoln Room): The Big Bang TheoryOutlandCommunityFanboysPaul… After years of being stereotyped bit-parts, suddenly there are a plethora of TV shows and films putting geeks in the spotlight. The new breed of fan characters have individual personalities, interests and character development – but have they escaped the old stereotypes, or has going mainstream just given them a wider audience of mockers? Participants: Peter M. BallCheryse DurrantBen McKenzie

Build it and They Will Come (Sunday 20:00; Venue: Pelham Room): Like any fictional world, the best roleplaying settings have personalities as complex and individual as their characters. Whether it comes from a rulebook, out your head or a combination of both, as a GM how do you imbue your world with life? Participants: Hespa Peter M. BallPatrick O’DuffyDarren Sanderson

It’s an interesting grab-bag of topics, including a lot of stuff I’m passionate about (or, as one of my workmates put it, this is the con that’s probably going to ’cause me to go on blood pressure medication). Fortunately, many of the truly dangerous topics seem to have had some quite interesting discussion via email beforehand, which gives me confidence that I’ll make it through without threatening anyone with death by mind-laser.

That said, Big Bang Theory is problematic as fuck, and I’m sick to death of geeks themselves embracing the archetypes represented as emblematic, so there’s pretty good odds I’ll start swearing about something over the course of the convention.

When not in panels, there’s pretty good odds I can be found in the bar or lingering around the closest source of coffee. The full program is online if you want to stalk track down people who are not me. And, by me, I mean, Kelly Link is at this con, people, and you should totally go bask in her brilliance whenever possible. 

12 Things

We’re mid-way through a long weekend here in Oz. This still catches me off-guard, since I’ve spent the majority of my adult life not really paying attention to long weekends, but the acquisition of a dayjob changes your relationship to such things. And so we’ve hit Sunday and I’m mooching around the new house, grooving to a mix of the Hilltop Hoods and the Beastie Boys (RIP, MCA), just kinda…randomly getting things together.

And so, in that spirit, a random grab-bag of twelve things I felt like mentioning.

1. MOVING IS, LIKE, 90% DONE

So my flatmate bought a new home and we moved into it. Most of the last two weeks has been spent getting stuff there, unpacking it, figuring out where it will live for the foreseeable future, and generally waiting for the internet to be turned on.

You know, moving stuff.

There’s a part of me that wants to just kick back and say “yup, we’re done now,” ’cause we’ve basically moved enough that it feels like we’ve moved in and can live a functional life. The truth is there are still all those odds and ends that need to be fixed up, and the room containing my computer/files/desks is littered with boxes of files that should probably be put into the filing cabinet, just as the bedroom closet looks more like a place to store half-full boxes of clothing rather than a bedroom closet.

Although, to be fair, you should see the closet. For a single bloke who owns three pairs of jeans, three jackets, and a seemingly endless supply of t-shirts, it’s one of those spaces that feels slightly epic and impossible to fill.

2. ERNEST HEMMINGWAY

I’ve never really been big on Hemmingway as a writer. I’ve known people who adored him, but I always leant towards F. Scott. Fitzgerrald as my writer of choice for that particular era of American letters. I mean, seriously, The Great Gatsby. It has its issues as a book, just as Fitzgerald has his issues as a person, but there is something about the sheer amount that book packs into approximately 50,000 words that makes me look at 100k novels and think, really? This is our standard length? Did we miss the levels of awesome that could be achieved at half that?

But we were talking about Hemmingway, who I seem to have started reading in earnest for the first time since I was…shit, eighteen? Nineteen? A really long time. It’s the net result of watching Midnight in Paris, in which Hemmingway shows up as a character, and I’ve always been a bit of a sucker for the reflection of Hemmingway that’s thrown up as a social construct. He’s just such an unremitting bastard, capable of throwing out these moments of sparse beauty, yet so…self-loathing? Or a kind of loathing far more external than that?

In any case, I picked up a small book of writing advice that’s been curated from Hemmingway’s letters and articles, and it’s full of these moments that are both beautiful and angry. My favourite, thus far, is this:

“F. Scott Fitzgerald’s talent was as natural as the pattern that was made by the dust on a butterfly’s wings. At one time he understood it no more than the butterfly did and he did not know when it was brushed or marred. Later he became conscious of his damaged wings and of their construction and he learned to think and he could not fly any more because the love of flight was gone and he could only remember when it had been effortless.” (From A Moveable Feast)

There’s a part of me that thinks, well, yes, that. There is another part of me that thinks, really, Hemmingway? Just ’cause you say it pretty, it doesn’t mean you aren’t a dick.

3. CONTRIBUTORS COPIES

These showed up my PO Box earlier this week

It’s shiny, in both the metaphorical sense and the literal sense, and the print edition is due out in Mid-June, which means this is one of those rare occasions where I’ve received contributor copies before the book goes on sale.

4. SPEAKEASY

So as part of my dayjob I curate a bunch of writing and publishing links every Friday for the Speakeasy blog. I have to admit, it’s one of my favourite parts of the dayjob, since it means the vast majority of the stuff that I’m reading on the internet anyway now becomes part of my working day. And since I figure there are probably a couple of writer-types reading this who may be interested, I figured I’d point the way in case you’re inclined to check it out.

5. PLANNING

One of the random things I’m doing this week? Putting together a new writing plan.

Someone asked me the question “how many stories do you submit a year” at work on Friday. It freaked me out a little, ’cause once upon a time there would have been a pretty steady answer to that, and now there is not. I’ve been living without a writing plan for months now (and, effectively, since life went kaboom back in November of 2010). I have grown weary of the uncertainty, and I figure I’m staying in place for the next twelve months, so I’m going to spend a few hours this evening putting together a plan that’ll allow me to…well, get stuff done.

The problem with writing plans is…well, me. I over-estimate my own abilities a lot, particularly after I’ve let writing lie fallow for a stretch, and it often results in plans where I’m trying to do all the things all the time. This barely worked when I was a marginally employed writer-type with a wealth of free time. It’ll surely fall apart now that I’m regularly employed and trying to fit writing around the edges of things.

6. I CANNOT GO NEAR MY POST OFFICE BOX

I maintain a PO Box that I use for three things: receiving subscriptions, ordering things online, and an address I can put on contracts that doesn’t change every six-to-eighteen months.

A few weeks ago, in the lead-up to the move, I realised that Shifty Silas, my new laptop, was capable of running a bunch of computer games people had recommended to me. I’m usually pretty careful about playing computer games, since I have an addictive kind of personality when it comes to narrative. If I start watching a DVD boxed set of a TV series, for example, I’ll down it in one sleep-deprived sitting rather than space it out. I want, in essence, all the story, all the time.

Also, basically, I like to win things. I mean, I really like to win things. To the extent that, if there are no victory conditions, I’ll invent them simply so I can win.

It’s…well, it’s not a pleasant side of my personality.

These two things, when combined, generally make computer games the equivalent of narrative crack and I’m usually careful to avoid them. But friends raved about Mass Effect and Mass Effect II, and my flatmate had some copies floating around, and it wasn’t like I was doing anything other packing, so I fired Shifty Silas up and played them both. In fact, I played the hell out of them. In, like, rapid succession.  even started replaying the game, this time with an external mouse, ’cause the first time around I wasn’t able to use sniper rifles.

They were exactly the kind of interactive narrative-crack I fear when it comes to computer games.

And because the designers of Mass Effect are evil, you can’t really play those two games and get the end of a story, so I’ve ordered a copy of Mass Effect III. It’s been posted and now it’s sitting in my PO Box, waiting for me to come pick it up.

And when that finally happens, when I pick it up and start playing it, well, I’m going to be good for very little else that week. And I have the self-control of a lemming that’s just been shown a cliff.

Which means I can’t pick up my mail at the moment. And I’m going to avoid it for as long as I possibly can.

7. RABBIT HOLE

If you’re a writer-type, you probably want to come do this.

Basically, the Rabbit Hole is a three-day event where a bunch of writers come together and collectively thumb their noses at, say, NaNoWriMo. Instead of being all 50,000 thousands words in a month, the word-warrior heading down the rabbit hole is chasing 30,000 words in three days. It’s run at the QWC a couple of times, but this year the event is going national as part of the Emerging Writers Festival, with teams gathering in Melbourne (where it’s hosted by Jason Nahrung), Tasmania (hosted by Rachel Edwards), Brisbane (hosted by, well, me), and online (hosted by Patrick O’Duffy).

It takes place between the 1st and the 3rd of June, and it promises to be a weekend of words and smack-talk between the four teams. I may even bring the Spokesbear as a mascot.

You can register for Team Brisbane over the QWC website.

8. SEASON THREE OF 30 ROCK

I don’t really review things, ’cause I kinda suck at it. Me and non-fiction, it’s not a thing that works well (and I’ve been reminded of this, quite explicitly, because I’ve been writing a non-fiction article for work and it’s like pulling teeth, dammit).

But I did watch the third season of 30 Rock recently. And, at one point, I may have laughed so hard that I developed tunnel vision and passed out for a few seconds.

Just saying.

9. TRASHY TUESDAY MOVIE

So about a month ago I tried to watch the 2011 Conan the Barbarian film with my flatmate. It…wasn’t good. I say this as a person who has a really, really high tolerance for bad movies, especially any kind of fantasy epic. The only way I got through it was jumping on twitter and making fun of the movie as we went, so other people shared my pain.

Halfway through the topic of Hawk the Slayer and whether or not it was worse than Conan 2011 came up.

I’d never seen it before, so my flatmate and I arranged to watch it the following Tuesday. And, since I’d tweeted the first film, I figured…well, why not? I tweeted throughout the second film, and about halfway through people started suggesting films we should watch and make fun of in the future.

And thus the tradition of the Trashy Tuesday Twitter Movie got started. It was an accident, I swear, but somewhere along the line we developed a schedule. If you’re interested in joining in, we generally kick off at 7:30 PM, Brisbane Time, on a Tuesday evening. Next week’s film is RED (Helen Mirren with a Sniper Rifle!), and on the 15th we’re watching Red Dawn. Debate about the hashtag usually starts earlier on a Tuesday, and the results can be found on my twitter feed @petermball

And yes, this is basically what I do when I’m avoiding posting here. I’m sorry blog, but Twitter is my new love.

10. I’M NOT SURE I LIKE HAVING A SMART PHONE

Actually, that’s not true. I acquired my first smart-phone at the beginning of the year, and it’s instantly become one of my favourite things ever. It’s the promise that SF always offered me – a miniature computer that I can carry around in my pocket and access nearly everywhere. It lets me carry around my email and a collection of books to read and all that stuff.

What I dislike is the way it’s changed my relationship to the internet.

Over the past four months I’ve watched my engagement with things become increasingly passive, largely because I spend the vast majority of my non-dayjob internet surfing on the phone rather than the computer.

I receive my email on the phone, but I dislike the keyboard I’m forced to use there so I don’t respond until I’m sitting at a computer. I can read blogs and my RSS feed, but I don’t comment or come here to write things unless I’m sitting at a keyboard. I can check facebook and twitter, but…well, actually, facebook and twitter are the places where the phone really shines, so it’s not like either of those have suffered.

Basically, I put a lot of things off until I’m sitting at a keyboard, and that never seems to happen ’cause I can check things on my phone.

I’m trying to figure out how to combat this problem, since it really doesn’t sit right with me. Half the reason I love the internet is that it allows me to engage with things, and I’m not really a huge fan of any medium where passivity is the primary mode of engagement.

11. THE AVENGERS

Last week, in the midst of moving, I took an evening off and went to see The Avengers with a bunch of my co-workers. I freakin’ feared this movie so hard, since I’m a) a huge comic nerd,  b) not a fan of anything Joss Whedon has done that involves armies of villains, c) generally irate about films and not inclined to like them, and d) a huge fan of the Avengers: Earth’s Mightiest Hero TV series which delivered everything I want in an Avengers comic in cartoon form instead.

In short, I wanted this to be teh awesomes and figured it wouldn’t quite get there. I certainly didn’t think it’d live up to the cartoon.

What I got was teh awesomes. I may have made high-pitches squealing noises of joy in the theatre.

If I had to deliver a review, I can do it in three words: FUCK YEAH, AVENGERS!

12. NINJAS!

They’re everywhere. You just haven’t noticed them yet.

Cool News from the Day Job

So yesterday we made a small announcement at my dayjob. It went a little something like this:

Source: GenreCon News Blog

Genre Con

The Australian Writer’s Marketplace is pleased to announce the launch of the first annual GenreCon, a convention for professional and aspiring writers of romance, mystery, science fiction, crime, fantasy, horror, thrillers, and more. One part party, one part professional development: GenreCon is the place to be if you’re an aspiring or established writer with a penchant for the types of fiction that get relegated to their own corner of the bookstore. Featuring international guests Joe Abercrombie (Author, The First Law Trilogy, Best Served Cold, The Heroes), Sarah Wendell (co-founder, Smart Bitches, Trashy Books), and Ginger Clark (Literary Agent, Curtis Brown), with more guests being announced in the coming weeks. GenreCon is the place to be if you want to:

  • Educate yourself about the publishing industry
  • Learn what it takes to become a successful genre author
  • Network with other writers who are passionate about genre fiction
  • Meet editors, agents, publishers, and other genre publishing professionals
  • Celebrate the rich contribution genre fiction has made to Australia’s literary landscape

The 2012 GenreCon will be held November 2-4, 2012 at the Rydges Hotel, Parramatta, NSW. Registrations are open now, with the special Early Bird ticket price of $190 available to the first 50 registrations. To register, visit us online at genrecon.com.au

Special Guests

We’re pleased to introduce you to this years international guests: Joe Abercrombie, Sarah Wendell, and Ginger Clark.

Joe Abercrombie

Joe Abercrombie was born in Lancaster, studied psychology at the University of Manchester, and spent ten years working as a film editor before his first book, The Blade Itself, was published in 2006. The First Law trilogy, a modern take on epic fantasy, is now available in more than twenty languages.  His latest book, The Heroes, made no. 3 on the Times Hardcover Bestseller list.  He lives in Bath with his wife and children and writes full time. Find him online at www.joeabercrombie.com.

Sarah Wendell

By day Sarah Wendell is mild mannered and heavily caffeinated.  By evening she dons her cranky costume, consumes yet more caffeine, and becomes Smart Bitch Sarah of Smart Bitches, Trashy Books. The site specializes in reviewing romance novels, examining the history and future of the genre, and bemoaning the enormous prevalence of bodacious pectorals adorning male cover models. Sarah is the co-founder of Smart Bitches, and the author of the book Everything I Know About Love, I Learned from Romance Novels and the  co-author of Beyond Heaving Bosoms: the Smart Bitches’ Guide to Romance Novels, published in April 2009 by Touchstone Fireside.

Ginger Clark

Ginger Clark has been a literary agent with Curtis Brown LTD (New York) since 2005.  She represents science fiction, fantasy, horror, and young adult and middle grade fiction.  In addition to representing her own clients, she also represents British Commonwealth rights for the agency’s children’s list.  She attends the Bologna and Frankfurt Book Fairs every year.  She sits on the Rights Committee of the Book Industry Study Group, and is a member of the Contracts Committee of the AAR.  She is a graduate of Bryn Mawr College and lives in Brooklyn with her husband.

I’d apologise for the big wall ‘o text, but that would be disengenious since I’m really pleased to have news of the con out in the public and registrations coming in. It means the convention has ceased being theoretical and now become a reality, that the focus shifts from I wonder if this could work to holy shit, people are actually coming, it’s time to work twice as hard to make it awesome and worthwhile.

The frustrating part about announcing this yesterday is that today is my regularly scheduled day off.

In truth, I should have known better. There is no such thing as a day off the day after you announce a convention and open up registration, and I’m pretty sure that I’m going to spend my day habitually checking my work email to see how registrations are going and whether there’s any queries to answer. I’m going to be putting together a rough plan for rolling out the next round of guests, since we’ve got a slew of Aussies coming along who are pretty fricken’ awesome in their own right. I’m going to be pondering how we can use the fact that the first three people to register for the Con are three of the most talented spec fic writers in Australia, especially since they’ve expressed their interest in being part of the program.

I’m going to wonder at the pace with which people are hitting the site, and the pace at which the early bird registrations are going (which is way, way faster than I expected).

And I’m going to spend the day thinking about how strange, and how delightful, it is to be involved in running a convention again, especially since this time around it’s almost entirely focused on the things that I really enjoyed working on the last time I had con-based day-job gig. That I keep ending up with dayjobs as unassailable cool as this one still freaks me out a little.

Now I’m going to go and try to write something, since that’s what the day off is meant to be for, although I may check my email just once more before I start…