Hanging with the Spokesbear: Avatar

Spokesbear: You awake?

Peter: No.

Spokesbear: You sure.

Peter: Very.

Spokesbear: And you’re paying utterly no attention to what I’m saying, right?

Peter: None. Fuck off.

Spokesbear: No need to be hostile. I just wanted to make sure you were docile before I told you this.

Peter: *sleeps*

Spokesbear: James Cameron’s said he’s going to make nothing but Avatar films until he dies. Apparently everything he wants to do, he thinks he can do inside that universe.

Peter: *keeps sleeping*

Spokesbear: Seriously, dude. James Cameron. Avatar.

Peter: I heard you.

Spokesbear: But you’re not ranting.

Peter: No.

Spokesbear: Come on.

Peter: No. I’ve made my peace with Avatar, and the fact that there will be an Avatar 2, and that it will likely keep going, ad infinitum, until James Cameron finally passes from this world and into whatever fucked up version of heaven he’s imagining.

Spokesbear: But people have been sending you links. They want to see a response.

Peter: They want to see me rant, it’s not quite the same thing.

Spokesbear: I want to see you rant.

Peter: Seriously, dude, I’m not your performing monkey.

Spokesbear: …

Peter: Okay, fine, I am your performing monkey, but I’m still not doing it. I vented my rage a few years back. I’ve already revisited it. I don’t need to revisit it now.

Spokesbear: You’re no fun anymore.

Peter: Sure I am. I’ll rant about plenty of things in the future, it’s just… Look, just agree or disagree with this statement – Avatar 1 was a fucking pile of shit.

Spokesbear: Agreed.

Peter: Then what more needs be said?

Spokesbear: Something that will convince all the people who liked it that they’re wrong?

Peter: Ha.

Spokesbear: That amuses you?

Peter: There’s a whole damn internet full of people trying to convince people that the Avatar films are wrong. I know, because I made one or two posts about it and there’s already a disproportionate amount of web-traffic that finds there way here by Googling the words Why Avatar Sucks.

Spokesbear: And you don’t want to inform them?

Peter: I don’t want to encourage them. About the only thing that depresses me more than Avatar traffic is the sheer number of people who find their way here googling shit about the Big Bang Theory. I mean, I made one post decrying the damn show, and then…

Spokesbear: Right. Shit. I see your point.

Peter: Thank you.

Spokesbear: …

Peter: …

Spokesbear: …

Peter: …

Spokesbear: You realise this post won’t help with either of those things, right?

Peter: Dammit.

Spokesbear: Just sayin’.

Peter: I was better off staying asleep.