Seven Things Writers Can Learn from Watching Suckerpunch (2011)
I’m going to be clear: I hate this movie. Loathe it. With the kind of intensity you get by capturing a couple of thousand suns in a nuclear reactor and focusing it into a very, very destructive kind of laser. When we first watched it, very early on in the #TrashyTuesdayMovie annals, it bored me to the point where I gave up actually commenting on the movie and just started live-tweeting 10 ways I would have my revenge on Zack Snyder for the creation of this film. Having re-watched the film in preparation for this post, I find myself revisiting said list and wondering if I was overly generous: 1: Dropped in a vat of piranha, who eat him slow motion while Army of Me plays over the action. #Suckerpunched 2: Getting kicked in the nuts, repeatedly, by film-makers who actually have talent #Suckerpunched 3: Being left to starve after having both legs crushed by a tank #Suckerpunched 4: Fatal katana accident. #Suckerpunched 5: beaten to death by angry Watchman fans wearing brass knuckles #Suckerpunched 6: After being deafened by a thousand idiots screaming “This is Sparta” at high volume #Suckerpunched 7: Rampaging hippos. #Suckerpunched. 8: Accidentally stumbling over a plot in his next film and going into anaphylactic shock #Suckerpunched ‘Cause, honestly, does anyone really believe that Snyder isn’t seriously allergic to plot at this point #Suckerpunched 9: Helicopter crash #Suckerpunch 10: Getting sued for all the time people have wasted in his film, and having to give up